Should've Tried Harder
by rainbow4imagination
Summary: It's been a year since Erica left Seattle-and the woman she loved. What happens when SGH needs to fill their head of Cardio slot, will Erica be able to accept her past and return?
1. Chapter 1

Should've Tried Harder

Dr. Erica Hahn sat in a small café, sipping her coffee. She had just preformed back-to-back surgeries, one taking eight hours and the other taking around five. People were watching the surgeon, recognition shining in their eyes. Erica couldn't help but smile to herself. She had finally won the Harper-Avery Award and everyone would know. Everyone…. _'Does _she _know?'_ Erica looked back, remembering how Cristina Yang had behaved on the day Burke had won the award. She hadn't raised her hand once and when Erica had suggested the morgue—merely as a way to tell the resident to get her act together—she had gone. That was different, though. Burke had been the douche he was and taken all the credit when Yang had basically preformed all his surgeries solo when he had hidden that damn tremor of his. Erica, on the other hand, had done everything by herself. She had worked herself to death, trying to get her past out of her head. Seattle was her past, now she was in New York working her tail off. She didn't like her new hospital; her chief of surgery was a woman who acted colder than Erica herself, never giving a positive comment—not even a smile. When Erica had won the prestigious award, her chief had done nothing about it; no clipping on the board, no praise, no signs of being proud. If she had the opportunity, Erica would gladly hop on a plane and return to Seattle and her old job. Hell, she would even be nice to the residents and dumb interns if it meant returning! She was shaken from her thoughts when her phone began to ring. She looked at the number and her eyes widened. _'206, that's Seattle's area code!'_ Erica cleared her throat as she accepted the call. "Erica Hahn." "Ah, Erica! It's Chief Webber. Now, I- I know you may be upset about the whole Stevens thing and everything that made you leave, but….. We need someone like you. You proved to be better than Preston and you brought our ratings up and….. just-just think about it." Erica narrowed her eyes. Now **that** was a serious case of irony. She contemplated whether to hang up the phone or not. "Erica….?" She sighed as the Chief's worried voice came up again. "Well…. I want to know all the changes that have come up, then I'll know what to think about." The Chief hesitated, there was clearly a lot that happened. "Well, we gained one, lost two… I suppose you want to know who?" Erica scoffed, "I _did_ ask to hear what changed, Richard." She heard him sigh in defeat and smirked to herself. It lifted Erica's spirits, though, when he continued. He obviously wanted her back bad enough. "Ahm, Owen Hunt is now head of Trauma. He was stationed in Iraq with the medical team. O'Malley quit to go join that team later and when he was leaving for home, he was hit by a bus pretty damn hard. We didn't recognize him at first, but he let us know who he was eventually, not long after that he….. died." Erica stayed silent for a moment, allowing the Chief to grieve before she asked who the second one was. He let out a breath of stress, this clearly hurt him. "Dr. Stevens…. It seems the day you left she had begun hallucinating her dead fiancée. She ended up having stage four metastatic melanoma. It spread to her organs and brain and skin. She's alive though! She ended up quitting. She would have been a great doctor." Again, Erica was silent. Now she was thinking. She knew she wanted to come back, but she had to be reasonable and not seem so desperate. "At least come look at the place next week!" The Chief had obviously taken her silence as a bad sign. "I have to think about it… I _did_ leave your program, I can't just return hoping everything will be amazing. You could tell me other things that have changed, more… personal things?" Erica knew the Chief was smiling, it took a lot of nerve for the Cardio Goddess to become personal. "Alright, Dr. Hahn. I have a feeling Yang and Hunt are becoming pretty close, Derek and Meredith are back together ,Sloan found himself caught up in a 24 year-old first-year resident, Bailey is…. Bailey, Torres is yelling around the halls that she's celibate…. I heard **you** got yourself the Harper-Avery, congratulations! The surgical floors were excited for you. Yang was saying how you deserved it more than Burke, Sloan was commenting on how you almost…. Anyway, and Torres brought a clipping and pinned it on the board." Erica had been smiling, but at the mention of what her ex had done, she went cold. "Hahn? Is it something I- oooooh, I forgot about you and Torres!" Erica panicked, the Chief had found out? "You two were pretty close friends, right?" She let out a sigh of relief. "Um, yeah we were….close." After an awkward silence Erica decided it had been long enough. "I just got off, so I'm pretty swamped…. I think I'll hit the road and go to bed." It took the Chief a second before he realized Erica had spoke. "What? Oh, yes, alright…. Erica? See you next week?" "Yes, Chief. See you next week."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes and ABC!**

**So thanks a bunch for the amazing reviews! I'm hopin' for more ;) Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Erica walked around her new apartment, boxes all around. She had started out saying she would visit Seattle Grace, but ended up calling the Chief up and accepting the job. She had mainly accepted because of her boss. She had treated her like shit ever since Erica mentioned possibly going back to Seattle. Dr. Turner was a bitch, and handing in her letter of resignation was the best thing that had happened to her since the Harper-Avery.

_Erica walked with purpose to her Chief's office. She knocked on the door twice before the door swung open, revealing the evil witch herself. 'Dr. Hahn, can I help you?' Erica let out a sigh of frustration, the Chief knew why she was there. 'I've accepted the job, Chief Turner, and I am here to give you my letter of resignation. With that she handed her chief the papers, no emotion showing. 'Right, well, we'll….miss you? Enjoy your grade B hospital, Dr. Hahn.' Erica scoffed and stalked off, as she left, she couldn't help but smile at the fact Turner had to insult her 'new' hospital to deal with the fact she was losing her. _

Erica was jolted out of her thoughts when her phone rang. '206, what the hell is with all the Seattle people calling me!' "Erica Hahn." "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BACK AT SEATTLE GRACE?" Erica tensed her jaw at the familiar voice. "Sloan, you need to calm down. When you do, I'll be glad to tell you why." She heard him sigh, finally calming down. "Alright, you better have a good reason…. And it better not be because of someone who happens to work there." Erica could feel herself getting upset, soon she would be yelling. "If you mean Callie, then no. It's not because of someone who happens to work at Seattle Grace. My old job was horrible, the staff were rude, the Chief was a bitch and it wasn't a nice environment." Mark scoffed. "Right, I guess you know what it's like to be in the presence of a bitch now." Erica slammed her hand onto her breakfast bar. "Damn it, Mark, I'm trying to stay calm but all this shit you're pulling is making it really fucking hard! I am NOT hear for Callie, I want nothing to do with her, I want to be in a hospital that respects me and cares about everyone on the staff! New York was horrible…I couldn't handle it." For once, Mark stayed silent. Erica also stayed silent, she was still trying to calm down, forcing tears back so the man-whore couldn't think she was weak. "Look, I'm not looking forward to seeing Callie again. I abandoned her, I made the worst mistake **ever**! She doesn't want to see me after the shit I put her through. " She mentally kicked herself for letting out her feelings—especially to Mark Sloan. "Look, Hahn, I don't think it was actually entirely your fault… I knew what she was doing when she came to me, but I didn't stop her… I should have, but it took me until after our second time to tell her she was cheating on you." Erica narrowed her eyes, unsure what to make of what Sloan had said. "Erica, you sprung the fact that you were gay on her, she wasn't ready to hear that or say it back! She came to me to see if she felt something in sex with the opposite gender was different than with another woman….she doesn't feel a difference, they both feel amazing to her. She's not a full lesbian, she's bisexual." She scoffed, Callie may be bisexual but she still hadn't talked to her about it, she had used sex instead of talking to her best friend and girlfriend. "And I'm supposed to forgive her for choosing your penis over my heart? Yeah, I don't think so, Sloan." This time it was Mark's turn to scoff. "If you're going to let that woman go because of _one_ mistake, then you don't love her… you don't care. Do you know what happened to her when you left? You ruined her, leaving her like that! She told me she would look at the empty side of her bed and cry herself to sleep." Erica's jaw tensed in irritation, she knew he was doing this to make her feel guilty—She wouldn't let it get to her though, she was freakin' Erica Hahn! "Mhmmm, and was she ever feeling anything else or was she just the poor broken girl?" She smirked as Mark hesitated. "Well, she would drink a lot and call you the devil or Erica, the bitch from down under…but only when she was drunk. Not as bad as your father of course." Erica's eyes widened, _'How in the hell does he know about my father?'_ "How in the h—" She was cut off by Mark's sudden explanation. "She also spent the first six months of the….break-up babbling about your miserable childhood and relationships. She would always end with 'she didn't deserve what I did to her, her life sucked and I was supposed to make it better.' Personally, I liked the occasional outbursts about how you're better than me in the sac because then she would go into full detail about your 'special' nights." Erica snorted, hating that Sloan now knew all that. "Well then, you probably got into her pants after all those sexy stories like the horny man-whore you are." She had only said this to get an answer to the burning question running through her mind, _'Did Callie go back to Sloan after I left?' _"Uh, no.. I offered—many times—but she turned me down every time because the last time we got together it ruined her relationship. She's secretly mad at me for that, I think." Well, that had answered her question, but now she had a new question running through her brain: _'Is Callie in a relationship?'_ "You think? You confessed to me that it was your fault for our relationship falling apart, that you could have stopped it, and you _think_ she could be mad at you? You need to learn to keep your 'Little Sloan tucked away, because it's getting you into some major trouble!" Erica heard an agitated sigh come from the other line. "Well, can't wait to see you on Monday, Dr. Hahn. There's a lot of changes, you know- a lot of people have changed." _***Click* **_Erica sighed, not knowing really what to do. Was Callie in a relationship? How many changes did she not know about? _'Great, can't wait for Monday now!'_

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><p><strong>Sorry for all the suspense! REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY :3<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Gha! i was going to wait for more reviews to come in, but I had already finished writing this chapter and ended up not being able to help myself! Thanks to everyone who DID review so far, you guys are keepin me going! (not to mention the fact I rarely get writer's block! *knock on wood*) Be prepared for something interesting at work ;) All answers to your burning questions will be answered soon, I like to keep people on the edge of their seats, waiting for the next chapter to reveal- plus more reviews then. I have a cunning mind, you see!**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

_Tan hands found their way to Erica's face, pulling her in to a searing kiss. The blonde hesitated for a moment before relaxing into the kiss. Eventually she found the courage to bring her own hands to the other's face, returning the kiss. They broke apart for a moment, gazing into each other's eyes before continuing. Soon they were resting their foreheads together, filling their lungs with air again. Erica broke away, sudden panic filling inside her, "My keys…. I need to find my keys," and with that she was gone—leaving behind a hurt Callie._

Erica woke with a start, sitting up in her bed. "DAMMIT!" This was the second night Erica had dreamt about her ex-girlfriend, never ending happily. All the negative things that had turned up in her and Callie's relationship was showing up in her dreams—never was it a positive scene, like their first _officially intended_ time together. The surgeon turned to her digital clock, seeing it was 2 a.m. _'God, work starts tomorrow—well, today—and I'm waking up early AGAIN!' _ Erica slammed herself back down onto her bed, rubbing her temples vigorously. Whenever something that made the blonde extremely irritated happened, she would get horrible headaches. She sighed and slowly closed her eyes, trying to relax and get herself to sleep. Thoughts of Callie kept going through her head, images of when they avoided each other, awkwardness getting the best of them. This was going to be a looong day. What would happen when the two finally ran into each other? Would Callie run? Would Erica run? _'Life sucks right now.' _ After a half-hour of Callie-thoughts, Erica finally fell asleep—unknowingly hugging the feathers out of a pillow.

***BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* **Erica groaned and rolled over, smacking the offending object. "Shut the hell up, you piece of-" She stopped when the alarm finally ceased. Sighing, she reluctantly got out of bed making her way to the shower. Today was Monday, her first day of work. _'At least it's Seattle Grace instead of New York Hospital of Shit.' _ She had to admit, being back at her old hospital made her feel better—just the fact of who was there kind of made it hard to totally appreciate coming back. As Erica showered, she remembered the old times at Seattle Grace. Yang, the over-working resident; Grey, the depressed little drinker; Karev, the dick who could care less about feelings; O'Malley, the sensitive guy who cheated on her best friend and ex-lover; Stevens, the bitch who stole her patient's heart; Bailey, the hard-core single mom who could easily persuade anyone with a glare; Shepherd, the soft Neuro surgeon who couldn't stop fucking Grey; Sloan, the man-whore who couldn't stop dirty comments from leaving his fat mouth; Webber, the chief who got personal; Callie, hard-core Ortho surgeon who could please you in the best ways known to man. She sighed, what was she going to do about this? She couldn't handle seeing the beautiful Latina, she knew she would see hurt on her face… see the pain that Erica had brought to her. What the hell had Erica been thinking, leaving a woman like that? Callie Torres was an amazing person, the best listener she had met and the best lover she had ever had. Erica left the best thing that had ever happened to her, and now she had gone back in time and has to live with her past. Just then Erica remembered what Mark had said before hanging up: _"a lot of changes, you know- a lot of people have changed."_ She narrowed her eyes, wondering what he had meant. _'Did he mean Callie? Has she gotten over me and moved on? Of course she did, Hahn! She's sure to realize she deserves better than you! She's probably found a wonderful person to be with for the rest of her life….. I'll just sit alone like I started out doing.'_ Erica sighed and stepped out of the shower, toweling herself dry and heading back to her room to change. She looked through her wardrobe, trying to find an outfit that screamed 'I'M BACK, BITCHES!' but didn't make her look like she was self-centered. She looked sadly at one she had come to love; it would be perfect, but it was cutting it close. It was a slimming but casual black dress that she had worn on many of her wonderful dates with Callie. If the gorgeous woman saw her in this, chances were bad events would play out no doubt. She sighed and put it back, grabbing a silky, cream-colored blouse and black slacks. Once she had slipped on the outfit, she flattered it with some jewelry—trying not to go over the top, though. She looked in the mirror and frowned, Erica was finding it harder and harder to accept herself. She had always been told she was beautiful, and for a while she believed them, but now she was doubting herself—slamming herself every chance she could, "I'm 41 with no friends, no relationship, and horrible features, perfect" and with that she headed out the door, hoping her day didn't suck.

Erica was standing outside Seattle Grace Hospital, getting soaked by the pouring rain. She knew it wouldn't look professional being soaked head-to-foot on her first day back. Usually you try and make an effort to look clean and beautiful, but Erica was too worried about being back to care about her appearance. "Um, ma'am, are you planning on going inside or- OH! Dr. Hahn! I was told you were coming back!" Erica turned to see the littler Grey looking up at her surprised. "Uh, yes, I'm back…. And yes I suppose I should go inside." With that she walked to the entrance, Grey at her side babbling about God knows what. "Right, Grey, I'm going to leave you now… mainly because you're annoying the hell outta me but also because I have to go see the Chief. Have a..nice day." She left the shocked girl standing there, making her way to the Chief's office. When she reached the door, Erica took a deep breath, trying to relax herself. When she finally felt relaxed she rapped three times on the door, following with an announcement of who she was. "Ah, Erica! Come in, please!" The blonde entered, making sure to show no emotion on her face. "Well, Richard, here I am." The older man beamed at her, clearly more excited than Erica would probably ever be. "Yes, here you are. I have your scrubs and lab coat here, along with a pager, your requested red stethoscope and a new pen-light!" Erica mentally rolled her eyes and forced a small, tight-lipped smile, "Right, thank you… is there anything special I should do? Do I start work right away?" Webber chuckled and handed Erica her things. "Of course you start right away, Hahn, you're head of Cardio! You remember where the locker rooms are I hope?" The blonde narrowed her eyes and nodded, totally not in the mood to be cheery or in the presence of cheery souls. "I'm going to go there now… bye, Richard." The man waved as she left, a big smile still on his face. Erica didn't understand how people could just be so cheery like that, didn't they have any self-respect? She shook her head in dismay as she entered the abandoned locker room. She found a locker without anything inside and began to slip off her wet clothes, grimacing at the fact that her bra had also become wet. "Damn, it's gonna be all itchy now." She contemplated taking that off too, but when she pictured herself running down the hall to reach a code-blue, she put the thought out of her head. _'No way am I letting myself be that free, that's jokes and stares waiting to happen.'_ Before she had time to get her scrub top on , she heard the door open and immediately covered herself with the flimsy shirt. She scowled at the person in front of her. It was a shorter woman with a lighter shade of blonde and a big, stupid smile plastered on her face. "Oh, I'm sorry! Is this your first day? It's mine, too! Arizona Robbins." The smaller woman shot out her hand, clearly not realizing the awkwardness of this moment. "Um, Dr. Robbins my hands are currently keeping me from showing myself off, so how about you let me change and then we can exchange information." This made the woman smile even more, a childish giggle escaping her mouth. "Of course, I have to change as well. Is the locker next to you taken?" Before Erica could say yes—though she wasn't actually sure—the woman had opened the locker, found it empty, and began to undress herself. The older woman's jaw tensed, turning away from the perky blonde and changing the rest of the way. When she turned back around, she couldn't help but drop her jaw at what she saw. The younger woman was putting on shoes with wheels sticking out of them. "What the hell are you doing with those?" She looked up at Erica, excitement shining in her eyes. "These are my wheelie-shoes, do you like them! They're really fun to roll on, but I'm not supposed to let anyone else use them and I can't get in anyone's way." Erica scoffed, shaking her head in dismay. "And you don't see the danger in those? What if you collide with another doctor who is trying to get to their coding patient? You just killed their patient and possibly injured the doctor!" Arizona was now looking a little annoyed, clearly not impressed with Erica. "Well, miss negativity, I know how to control these things, and I make sure to only use them in deserted hallways—not to mention the fact that if a patient is coding when I am around, it's most likely one of mine. I'm the new Head of Peds. What do you do?" Erica narrowed her eyes at the woman before relaxing. "Head of Cardio… I actually used to work here so I'm not exactly new. Wasn't Dr. Kenley Head of Peds.? I didn't think he was ready to retire just yet." Arizona looked away, discomfort showing on her face. "He…died. It was weird, I just got a call saying the position was open. When I asked why, they Chief reluctantly said the last person died . It was probably very scary for little Jackson." The Cardio goddess widened her eyes in surprise, it was rare a doctor ever really got sick, but one just dropping dead was very scary indeed. "Huh, never would have thought a doctor to drop dead in a patient's room…. I suppose that would be pretty scary. So, Dr. Robbins, are you…..excited about your first day? " This made the other blonde perk up, a big smile spreading on her face again. "Oh, you bet! I read about this hospital and it gets very good reviews. I looked up the staff, too. Ortho is amazing, the general surgeons are the best in the country and Cardio is pretty high in amazing ratings! I have a feeling you did that in your previous time here?" Erica smirked and nodded, having no doubt in her mind that it was true. "Well, I'm sure Webber assigned someone to give you a tour, so I'll let you go. Enjoy your time here, Dr. Robbins, it'll be the best you've ever had." Arizona stood up, smiling softly at the older woman. "Call me Arizona, and thank you. Oh, wait! I never got your name!" Erica hesitated, not sure whether she wanted the woman to know. "Um, Erica, Erica Hahn." Arizona's face lit up, clearly she had read about Erica. "Amazing, can't wait to work with you, Erica." When the woman left, Erica screwed up her face from her fake smile to a look of disturbance. "That's Dr. Hahn, to you, woman." She finished putting on her accessories and headed out the door to the ER, mainly just getting herself familiar with the hospital again. She glanced up at the nurses' station and ended up doing a double-take. Standing at the nurses' station surrounded by eager interns was a tall, tan-skinned woman with glossy, raven hair and large, beautiful brown eyes. Her now dark blue scrubs made her skin appear darker and made her full, red lips stand out against the rest of her features—except of course those eyes, definitely not the eyes. Her grey-blue eyes locked with the chocolate ones before a loud bang sounded. Erica looked at the source, which turned out to be the charts and papers the Latina had been holding hitting the ground, and sighed, realizing her day was now heading down a dangerous slope to horrible. She turned away from the swarm of interns frantically sweeping up the mess at Callie's feet, and headed to an on-call room. When she had closed and locked the door, Erica finally broke down. She had ran into the exact problem she had been hoping to avoid for the first few days. Callie had seen her, and the hurt had turned up in her eyes like Erica expected. The blonde shuddered as she remembered the pain searing into her gaze, the look of horror showing on the beautiful face. The door swung open, a loud voice following. "And these are on-call rooms, people forget that they're supposed to only be used for sleeping and tend to use them to….satisfy needs. Oh! Dr. Hahn, this is Dr.-" "Um, Erica and I met earlier, Dr. Bailey… Are you alright, Dr. Hahn?" Erica tensed her jaw, trying to keep herself from crying or punching the shit out of both the women who had just entered. "I, um… I thought I locked that damn door." She mentally kicked herself when her voice betrayed her. "Um, Dr. Bailey, maybe we could continue this later? I- I want to…." Erica heard a grunt and the door shut. She looked up to see Arizona hadn't left. "What the hell do you want?" Arizona's eyes flashed with anger for a moment, but was replaced by understanding. "I want to help you, Erica. What's wrong?" The older woman looked away from her, not wanting her to see her like this. "I'm fine, just….go find Bailey and finish your tour," when Arizona didn't move, Erica looked up, pain showing in her eyes, "please, just….go. GO!" The smaller blonde stumbled backwards in shock and fumbled with the door before getting it open. "I'm sorry…. I'm only leaving because you asked. The moment you need a friend, I'll be here." With that she left, leaving Erica in the dark, alone. Again, the woman broke down, shaking from the intensity of her emotions. When she had composed herself again, she wiped at her face, hoping she didn't run into anyone, and headed out the door. She stalked up to her desired destination and reached the well-remembered door. She knocked at the door, biting at her lip nervously. The door swung open and revealed a shocked face. "Erica Hahn, I'm sorry to say I'm not happy to see you at my door." Erica attempted a smile, but failed. "It comes with the job, Dr. Wyatt, I'm afraid I'll be needing your assistance again."

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><p><strong>Heey, so if you wanna know what happens next quicker, you'll give me some reviews to make me smile! Smiles are a good thing, frowns from no reviews hurt me baaad! Just a thought :3 <strong>

**To Lioness222, I would loooove a PM back my dear 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Just watched the episode of GA where Callica have sexy-time for the first time… love this one! Hmmm, I AM a tease aren't I? Well... I enjoy it too much to stop! Thanks to my little posse for the continuing reviews... seriously, you guys put smiles on my face :) **

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><p>Callie stood frozen in place, interns scrambling at her feet to get the items she dropped. Only moments ago she had locked her dark brown eyes with the familiar grey-blue ones. She didn't understand, she didn't remember being told that Erica Hahn would be in town when she got back from Miami. <em>'I need to find Mark.'<em> Callie was jolted back into reality when her papers and charts were shoved eagerly back into her hands. "Dr. Torres, did you need us to do anything?" She narrowed her eyes at the interns, knowing they didn't know why she had reacted the way she did. "Go work with your resident, I have some business to attend to." She watched as the now disappointed interns walked away before looking around for her man-whore of a friend. She frantically walked around, finally finding him cornering Lexie Grey. "Mark, friend-time, now—stop bugging Lexie, it looks like you're going to rape her!" When Mark heard that, he immediately let the young resident slip away, a look of horror on his face. "Thanks, Torres, you probably just put ideas in her head! What do you want anyway?" Callie tensed her jaw, giving Mark the 'I'm pissed at the world' face. "Why didn't anyone mention that Erica Hahn came for a case?" The older man shifted awkwardly, making sure not to meet his friend's eyes. _'What isn't he telling me?'_ She narrowed her eyes, making sure they seared into Mark. "Mark, is there something you would like to _share_ with me?" He dared to meet her eyes, only to see a knowing and cold expression on her face. "She, um…. She's not here for a case. She's our new Head of Cardio—again." Callie's jaw dropped, eyes widening in surprise. "Well, doesn't the Chief always have a meeting when someone new joins our staff? Why wasn't there a meeting?" Again, Mark avoided Callie's gaze. "Oh-my-god! There _was_ a meeting! I was in Miami… WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME WHEN I GOT BACK?" People turned to the two, confused looks crossing their dull faces. "Cal, calm down, you're making a scene! Let's go somewhere quiet and talk about this, okay?" When the Latina did nothing but purse her lips, Mark grabbed her arm and forced her into an on-call room. "Okay, so after the meeting Cristina came up to me with Meredith and started babbling about Erica being back. I told her that she should tell you but she refused to… said something about you two not being friends and she didn't really care. Anyway, I- I couldn't do it Cal. I was worried that you would slip back into darkness! I thought you had gotten over her, smiling again and talking with people, but then you come to work one day with a grim expression on your face and tack up a clipping of Erica winning the Harper-Avery and I know you aren't. I can't bear to see you hurting again!" Callie tensed her jaw, anger still running through her like adrenaline. "Damn it, Mark! It hurts more now than it would have if I had been prepared! I look up to see her eyes on me, and what I expect to be an expression of hate and anger is genuine concern and pain! What the hell is **that** about? She's supposed to be mad at me for what I did, for who I am! She is _not_ supposed to be concerned that I'm seeing her out of the blue or pained that we finally saw each other! She was supposed to leave and never come back, never…touch me or-or look at me! I….I was supposed to get over her, but-but I just-I can't!" She turned around, trying to hide the tears that were escaping. She didn't really know why she did that since Mark had been there to comfort her so many times over the past few years, but it just felt weird having him see her cry this time. "Callie I know you're hurting, I _know_ you're not over her, and I know that, secretly, you want her back. Don't do it, Cal, just leave Erica alone, and if she wants you, she'll find you. I'm pretty sure right now she's dealing with her own emotions as best she can—she can't handle adding yours to the pile. I saw her walking up to Psych, my guess is she's going to Dr. Wyatt, the psychiatrist. Just…let her be for now." The Latina nodded, unable to speak at the moment. It was true, she wanted the blonde back and she knew she would have to wait patiently to even mildly achieve that. She headed for the door, not wanting to be in isolation where she was bound to break down—she couldn't break down, not yet. "Damn! Introduce me to her, Cal!" Callie looked up to see a cheery blonde attending following Bailey around. Her blue eyes sparkled, brighter than Erica's, but they were too bright… too bright for Callie to enjoy. When Bailey spotted the two other attendings, she walked over—the blonde following close. "Dr. Torres, Dr. Sloan, this is Arizona Robbins, the new Head of Pediatric surgery." Mark pushed Callie to the side and embraced the blonde, a little too close for her liking. "Mark Sloan, Head of Plastics." He winked at Arizona and grabbed her slightly extended hand. "May I just say, Dr. Robbins, you have gorgeous eyes, I would love to see the pleasure shining in them as I-" "DR. SLOAN!" Bailey's interruption gave Callie the chance to shove the man-whore away from the disgusted blonde. "Sorry about that, he's a grade A man-whore… can't help himself." Arizona smiled, looking amused now. "Well, being a gold-star lesbian really helps the fact that I don't have to find out the worst of it." Bailey, Callie and Mark all looked at her with surprise. At first glance, this woman didn't seem like a lesbian, but they soon realized it when she began to check Callie out. "You look nice in dark blue, Dr. Torres, it brings out your skin tone." Mark nudged the Latina playfully, a smirk plastered on his face; Bailey, on the other hand, looked utterly disgusted. "Right, gay flirty-time is after the tour with me. I am _not_ going to sit and listen to 'yall talkin' dirty and battin' those damn eye-lashes of yours at one another. Dr. Robbins, shall we continue?" Arizona blushed slightly before turning back to the shorter woman. "Yes, Dr. Bailey…. Oh! Have you seen Dr. Hahn? She looked so… well you know, earlier and I want to make sure she's okay." Dr. Bailey looked a little nervous and glanced quickly at Callie, who tried to force herself to show no expression. "Um, I think she's up on Psych floor, Dr. Robbins, but she'll be around." Mark had stepped closer to Callie to show her comfort, making sure his arm brushed hers softly. Callie said nothing, she just turned on her heels and walked towards the nurses' station, requesting a chart from a bored nurse. All of a sudden her pager went off, 911 in the pit. She turned to see that Dr. Robbins and Mark had also gotten the page. _'Arizona is in…Peds. Must be a kid.'_ She headed to the pit, making sure to stay far from everyone else. When she had reached the pit, grabbing up a trauma gown, her breath hitched. Standing in front of her, tying on her own gown was Erica Hahn—just as tall and beautiful as she had been a year ago. _'Hmh, she lost weight…'_ Callie snapped back into reality when she felt a sharp pain in her side. She whipped her head to the side to see Cristina staring at her. "I'm on Hahn's service today…." She smiled weakly at her roommate, knowing she was trying to show she wasn't happy. Before anyone could say something again, the doors swung open, slamming against the walls. "Anna Kennedy, age 13, had a minor stroke causing her to fall down three flights of stairs." Callie ran over to inspect the teen, seeing a severely broken wrist. "Um, the bone pierced through the skin, Doctor…" Callie rolled her eyes at the paramedic, "no shit, Sherlock!" before gently setting the mangled wrist back down. "There's another thing, doctors…" All eyes turned on the male paramedic. "There are bruises and cuts all over her body that couldn't have been caused by falling down the stairs, there are also random burns on her abdomen…" Mark lifted away the wrinkled shirt to find severe burns covering her abdomen- along with deep gashes and bruises. Erica widened her eyes in terror. "G-get a, uh, a rape kit… and contact her damn parents!" Callie looked sadly at Erica, pain and fear showing in her eyes. "Erica…." Before she could finish, the tall blonde had disappeared, leaving the other three doctors to wheel the patient to her room. Mark looked questioningly over at her, but she shook her head. Callie had told Mark about many things in Erica's past, but she had never mentioned the one thing that had truly scarred the blonde.

_Callie sat with Erica's feet in her lap, giving the blonde a well-deserved foot rub. This was back when both women had been afraid to admit any feelings towards one another, so basically they were just friends. 'So Callie, you told me something very sensitive and private about yourself last night, it's only fair that I tell you something.' Callie had chuckled and shook her head. 'Erica, you don't have to. I only did it because you were being so nice and I knew you'd understand me better if you knew that—you don't have to share anything with me.' The blonde sat up, looking directly into the Latina's eyes. 'I want to, Cal. I want you to understand me, too.' Callie had stopped rubbing her friend's feet, letting them fall to the floor as both repositioned themselves. 'I, um, told you how my dad was a drunk, right?' When the Latina nodded, Erica continued. 'Well, when he would come home, he would come and say good night to me… then he would say something about my pajamas being ugly, and would grab new ones for me to change into. When he had taken off my 'ugly' ones, he…" Erica had stopped for a moment, obviously trying to recollect herself. 'Erica, you don't have to-" The blonde had held up her hand, giving Callie a look that said she wanted to continue. "When he had taken off the 'ugly' pajamas, he would pin me to the bed….naked. He wouldn't let me get up, and soon I found himself inside me… thrusting over and over again. I was so tired that I didn't make a sound….. I would sit and listen to him talk to me—tell me how happy I made him. After two years it got worse…. I was older and had become a woman. He would take me out once a week and we'd end up at a motel….he'd spend all night fucking me, hitting me when I struggled. It got so out of hand once that he ended up knocking me out cold. I woke up and found myself trapped under his sleeping, drunk form. One night, when I was about 16, he took me out on our weekly dinner date and we ended up at a buddy's house… there were four other men there—all taking turns fucking me. They were all drunk of course, but it didn't make it any less painful. I was beaten up so bad that night that I couldn't even move to leave. All the men had passed out, and I had looked around frantically for my phone. I realized that I had set my purse on the couch and began to inch my way over, when I reached it, I called up my mom and told her everything that had happened, and how long it had been happening. It was such a horrible time for me. My mom took me in for testing and I found out I was not only covered with STDs, but was also pregnant. I got the abortion and went on antibiotics…. I had never let my grades fail and ended up successfully in med-school. Free of my drunk dad and his gross friends.' After the story, Erica looked away, not wanting Callie to see her cry. Callie had watched the blonde the whole time, and saw tears leaking out way before it had ended. 'Oh, Erica, I'm so sorry! ' She leaned in and embraced the crying blonde, unable to keep herself from inhaling her intoxicating aroma._

"Dr. Torres? CALLIE!" Callie snapped back into reality at the sound of Dr. Bailey's voice. "Huh? Oh, um…..what?" She looked up to see Mark, Dr. Bailey, Arizona, and—surprisingly—Erica. Arizona stepped forward, handing Callie the chart. "We were wondering if you could set her wrist and everything while Dr. Hahn works on the clot?" The Latina looked up nervously at Erica but looked away when she saw the woman admiring a very nice piece of lint on Mark's lab coat. "Erm, yeah, of course….it'll be nice to work with Dr. Hahn again." She looked up, this time meeting the grey-blue eyes shining with surprise. Callie looked up more obviously with hope, but flinched as she heard the blonde scoff and leave the room. Arizona followed her—God knows why—and left the two remaining doctors to give her pitying looks. "Damn my life."

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><p><strong>Sooo... you gonna review? Goodness, I hope so! Have a nice day!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**I didn't receive many reviews on my last chapter... hoping that changes! There's a special scene towards the end just for Lioness222, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: All characters are property of Shonda Rhimes and ABC**

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

Erica walked down the hall at an intense pace, not wanting the Latina to follow her. She heard the soles of shoes closely behind her, when she realized the person was coming closer she turned into a supply closet, whipping the door closed. ***knock* *knock*** "Erica, it's Arizona." She hesitated a moment before opening the door to see a concerned expression gazing back at her. "What do you want, Dr. Robbins?" The shorter blonde took Erica's hand, smiling weakly. "I want to help you with whatever is going on." Erica stared coldly into Arizona's eyes. "I don't need your help. Go bother someone else for once." She felt bad as soon as she said it, but kept her face expressionless and hard. The shorter woman's eyes flashed with hurt but quickly changed to anger. "Fine, this is the last time I bother trying to help you. For a heart surgeon, you really don't know much about people's hearts." With that Arizona whipped around and wheeled down the hall. Erica narrowed her eyes, unsure of what to make of what just happened. She really was sick of the Peds. surgeon always trying to pry. She wasn't an open person, and someone offering to listen just made her close up more. Callie hadn't pressured her at all, she just started pouring her heart out. After a while, Erica felt closer to the woman and wanted to share her own secrets with her. She started with just saying how she felt, and ended with revealing her worst memory. _'This stupid girl coming in….she brings that memory back and I don't have my best friend to talk to about it.'_ Erica decided to go talk to Dr. Wyatt, hoping then it would be easier to be around the patient. As she made her way up the stairs, her pager went off. She looked down to see that they had an update on her patient and grimaced, she hadn't had to chance to get any feelings off her chest. As the surgeon made her way back into the room, she noticed chocolate eyes following her. Erica tried to ignore the eyes, and the fact that the owner of those eyes was the one person she really wanted to talk to. _'I can't talk to her… I'm supposed to be here as a surgeon—a doctor! Callie can't be a part of my life anymore.' _When she finally looked over, she made sure to give the infamous 'Hahn glare' before heading into the room. "Okay, what's the update?" She looked to see Mark, Dr. Bailey, and Arizona. The shorter blonde refused to look at her, finding an interesting skid mark on the floor. Dr. Bailey stepped forward, handing Erica the chart. "Um, the test was positive…..it seems Ms. Kennedy was indeed raped. We don't know who it was yet so we'll have to wait for her to be fit enough to tell us herself. Erica felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Callie, Cristina close behind. "Yang, I paged you before I came up here—what took you so long? Move!" She shrugged off the tan hand and shoved past the two shocked women. Cristina walked in, mumbling 'Yang, so nice to see you again. Why don't you help on my surgery?'. Erica rolled her eyes, heading again for the stairs. "Dr. Hahn, as unhappy you may be, we still have a surgery to perform! The parents are here and we have their consent to go ahead. Let's go!" She sighed and followed Bailey back in, she had to talk the parents through the procedure. "Right, Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy, I'm Dr. Hahn and I'll be getting out the clot in your daughter's heart. It's rare that anything should go wrong, it's a pretty simple procedure. We will open up the correct area of the heart and literally scoop out the clot." A short, crying woman with mousy hair stepped up. "And w-what's the w-worst that could h-happen?" Erica sighed, she hated explaining this part because then everyone would freak out and assume the worst. "The _worst_ thing would be to puncture a main artery or ventricle which would cause her to bleed out and…die." The woman immediately began to sob, shaking vigorously. "That's super unlikely to happen, Mrs. Kennedy, I've been doing this procedure since I was a resident and have only lost one patient to that—that was one of the first times I had even done it, though, I am much more capable of keeping Anna alive now." The woman's sobs became small shudders of breath and her shaking and subsided, only her hands trembling now. Erica looked suspiciously at the man, who showed no expression on his face. Didn't he care about his daughter? Every time someone had come in with this, even the manly father had been worried and upset. "Any questions from _you_ Mr. Kennedy?" The man narrowed his eyes and set his jaw. "None, thank you. You answered the single one I had." The blonde scoffed and went to go stand alone by the door as Callie began explaining how she would fix the girl's wrist. Erica looked over at Cristina, noticing a look of boredom on her face. Erica had come back to start over, and being a better teacher was one of her goals. She remembered when the resident had finally spoke up, daring to talk to her in the bar.

_Erica took a sip from her drink as Addison sent a message on her phone. Soon a figure was hovering above the blonde. "Can I help you Yang?" The younger woman did nothing. "Yang?" Finally, she stepped forward. "Is it because I'm Asian? Is that it, you don't like Asians?" Erica looked up at the resident, confused and pissed. "_Excuse_ me?" She was braving up now. "Why won't you teach me?" The cardio surgeon sighed, finally realizing the situation. "You're not without skill, you're not without talent so stop looking for me to tell what a good little girl you are, it doesn't change anything and, frankly, it doesn't make you any better at your job." The younger woman hesitated, opening her mouth to say something, before finally leaving them alone. "Little harsh, don't ya think?" Erica took another drink before replying, "I think, she reminds me of me." She looked over and watched as Sloan's hands roamed Callie, who's ass was grinding into his front. "She's pretty, huh?" The blonde played with her glass, sighing. "She's beautiful." She felt like her heart was being ripped out and stomped on by elephants when Callie walked out, Sloan following eagerly. _

"Yang! Come here." The younger woman shifted over, not expecting anything positive to happen. "I hope that by now you know how to perform this procedure, because that's exactly what you'll be doing." Erica suppressed a smirk as the resident's eyes widened. "Um, yes, Dr. Hahn, I can do that procedure with my eyes closed." "Well, to be sure I'm going to run you through it quick."

**Callie's POV**

Callie finished running the parents through the procedure and turned around, only to find Cristina watching eagerly as Erica did something with her hands. She bit her bottom lip when she saw the cardio surgeon's slender fingers curling and doing a scooping motion. _'Damn, she doesn't just do that in bed!'_ The dark-haired woman shook her head, trying to get the old images out of her head. Obviously, Erica had gone back to being upset with her, or she wouldn't have been so rude earlier. She was so busy watching the fingers that she didn't notice the slender body of Arizona slip up next to her. "What's so interesting, Dr. Torres?" Callie jumped and turned to the smiling blonde—dimples showing majorly. "I-um, I just was watching Dr. Hahn walk Dr. Yang through the procedure they will be performing. "I heard rumors that Dr. Hahn wasn't the best teacher… I guess they were wrong." Arizona was watching the ortho surgeon intently, probably trying to get her to spill. "No, that's true… this whole teaching Yang thing is very new. I suppose she's…. DAMN! I get it now! She's _starting over!_ That makes total sense!" Everyone had turned to look at her, Erica showing utter humiliation. She had obviously understood what Callie meant. Mark, who also understood, was trying to keep himself from laughing too much. "R-right, Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy, I cleaned up the burns on her stomach and treated the major cuts." The mother whipped her head to look at Mark, confusion and fear showing in her eyes. "I-I don't understand… she just fell down some stairs and suffered a stroke. How does that cause cuts and burns?" Callie looked back at Erica, noticing her tense up and look directly at the father. _'Oh god, poor Erica. This is so hard for her…. Oh god! I was her person—the one she talked to about things like this.'_ She shifted uncomfortably before turning back to the scene. "Uh, we discovered those upon her arrival and did a test to determine whether or not she had been raped and it…came back positive. We decided to talk to Anna when she was fit….after the surgery of course." Dr. Bailey tried hard to explain without upsetting the parents too greatly. The mother was distraught, falling to her knees in sobs, while the father stood hard-faced watching his wife fall. All of a sudden Erica was moving, going to stand directly in front of the man. "Why aren't you upset? Don't you care about your damn daughter? The doctors care more than you and we aren't even _supposed_ to give a shit! What the **hell** is your problem?" Before she could continue, Mark stepped up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Hahn, stop it… don't say another word. You're right, it _isn't_ your job to care so just….back away." He then tried to pull her back, but ended up keeling over in pain as her elbow jabbed into his abdomen. "YOU RAPED HER, DIDN'T YOU?" One minute she was yelling, the next she was leaving….shoving past anyone who got in her way. Mark slowly dragged his way to Callie. "Why do I get the feeling you didn't mention something about her past?" She rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to the father, who had finally showed an emotion: rage. "Torres, go find Hahn so we can get on with the surgery….don't give me that look! Go and find her! NOW!" Cristina stepped up, offering to be the one to find Erica. When Bailey agreed, Callie threw her roommate a look that said thank you. "Damn it, Mark, what am I gonna do?" The father stepped forward, slowly, to stand in front of the two. "The bitch was right…..but I was drunk the first time! After that I just…started liking it and didn't stop. I burned her because I was mad…and sliced at her, too." Callie looked into the man's eyes, he was being sincere, and actually showing he was sorry. "Sir, you do know we have to report you, you'll probably be arrested, and you…have to tell your wife."

**Erica's POV**

Erica stood at the nurses' station, trying to catch her breath. She had tried to find a more private place, but the fact that before she left she was already not breathing well, she could find a place soon enough. She tried hard to fight back tears, but a few escaped causing the blonde to get pissed. "Not the time to break down, Hahn," she mumbled to herself, holding the edge of the desk in a death-grip. "Dr. Hahn? We need to go into surgery….we need you to be there. You could just meet us in the scrub room, away from the parents and….and Callie." She whipped her head around to see Yang, a glimmer of concern shining in her eyes. "I don't care who's around me…..yeah, I'll be in the scrub room. OR 2?" When the resident nodded, she turned away again—not wanting Cristina to see any emotions she was going through. "Um, Dr. Hahn? Thank you….for letting me do this surgery." Erica just waved her away, still refusing to turn around. When she had finally gotten it together, she walked to OR 2, placing her new scrub cap on. She liked this one better than the polka-dot cap—which she had left a year ago to no doubt get thrown away. This one was a print of outer space, with all the galaxies and stars brightening up the dark atmosphere. She went in the scrub room and stopped—Callie was standing there, scrubbing away at her hands. Erica took a deep breath and walked to the sink, making sure to keep away from the Latina. "Good luck, Dr. Hahn." She still didn't look up, but grunted to show she heard. Arizona stepped in and took her place between the two surgeons. "So, Dr. Torres, is Callie short for something?" "Um, yeah, Calliope, but I prefer Callie." "Hmmm, Calliope. I love that! So.._Calliope,_ I hear you're a pretty amazing surgeon." Erica snapped her head up to stare at the two, eyes narrowed. "Well, yeah I suppose so. I'm, uh, a bit of a rock star." Arizona giggled. "I bet those hands of yours are _very_ skilled." Erica had had enough, she cleared her throat and snatched up a towel. "Oh, Dr. Hahn! I was so caught up in Calliope's beauty I forgot you were here!" She scoffed, shaking her head. "Did you hear? You were right, the father _was_ raping her. Good work _detective!"_ Her eyes widened at the smaller blonde, mouth hanging open where words were failing to come out. Her eyes shifted to Callie, who was shifting uncomfortably with a guilty look on her face. When she looked up and locked eyes with her, she flinched. Erica was giving the Latina the coldest look she had ever given. "No, I was unaware I had been correct. I guess I just have….experience." With that, she exited the scrub room, almost breaking the button that opened to doors with the force building from rage. _'Sure, Ms. Sunshine gets told off once and she become the bitch of the century… Callie probably told her about my past. She probably told everyone.' _

When the surgery was finally over, Erica left immediately. She had watched Yang successfully do the procedure and allowed her to close her up, making sure Callie wasn't done before going to scrub out. Arizona came in and began to scrub in. "So, you wanna tell me why you care so much about the girl being raped?" The cardio surgeon glared at the smaller woman before replying, "I'm sure you figured that out by now." The blonde didn't back down. "Why do you care that I flirt with Calliope? You obviously didn't come back for her, so why can't you just let her be?" Erica slammed her hands against the sink, catching herself before she yelled. "I DON- I don't care if you flirt, I care that you don't have the heart to keep it to yourself while I'm around. I may not have come back for Callie, but that doesn't mean I have stopped feeling something for her." As she finished the sentence, she heard the door slide close. Callie had entered…and heard what Erica had said. _'Well shit, this isn't turning out to be a good day!' _She quickly dried her hands before exiting the room. She headed up to Psych and knocked on the familiar door. "Dr. Wyatt, if you have time, I would like to come in."

**Callie's POV**

Callie's shift had finally ended, so she headed over to Joe's to grab a much-needed drink. She sat down at the bar, drink in hand, and sighed. Why was it so hard to get Erica to soften up? She had felt so bad when Arizona blurted about the rape. She obviously realized it was a dangerous subject for Erica, but she went ahead and did it anyway. Soon Callie was joined by Lexie Grey, a smile on her face. "Callie! Oh my god, Mark and I, we're together! He was trying to explain how he wasn't raping me and it just made me sooo happy I had to kiss him! Then I realized that I wanted to be with him and….. now I am!" She looked down at her drink, not wanting to look at the happy expression on the young resident's face. "That's…. great. I, um, I'm going to go to the bathroom…" She wiped at her now tear-streaked face and went into the bathroom. As she was fixing her makeup, someone entered. "Hey." Callie looked in the mirror to see Arizona. "Hey. Did you need the bathroom?" The blonde shook her head, stepping closer. "No, it's just, I noticed you were upset.. I, um, I've heard stuff….about you." Callie rolled her eyes and leaned on the sink. "Great, people are talking about me." The smaller woman shook her head, smiling. "No, Calliope, it's good stuff! The staff, they like you—respect you. I just wanted you to know that, although you're upset right now and probably not looking for anything, there are people lining up for you." The ortho surgeon laughed and looked at the blonde. "You wanna give me some names, here?" Arizona just smiled, leaning in closer and closer until their lips met. Callie went to pull back, but the blonde had her pinned, so she leaned into the kiss. The door flew open, revealing a first worried Erica, but changing into a pissed and disgusted Erica. "Sorry, I'll let you two finish." She slammed the door closed and Callie couldn't help but flinch. Arizona looked at her, guilt written all over her face. "She told me she still had feelings for you….. I should have listened." The blonde squeezed her hand before leaving herself. Callie slid to the floor, bringing her knees into her chest. Erica still had feelings for her….but now that she had seen Arizona kissing her, would she still feel the same?

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><p><strong>What'd ya think? Anything you wanna see happen? PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHARE! <strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**So I hope you enjoy this chapter... the ending is kinda stolen from a Calzona moment, but I couldn't resist :3 I am sooo happy with the reviews I received! to m m, I would do the whole spacing thing but I don't want it to look all different, plus I kinda like the whole story mode this shows. It makes me look like I write a lot (even though all of my chapters are over 1,000 words) ENJOY!**

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

Erica watched the tropical fish swimming in their tank, lips tight and expression cold. "Erica, we've been here for 20 minutes and you haven't said a word. Will you at least share what brought you here?" The blonde whipped her head to glare at the psychiatrist. Dr. Wyatt had been respectable for the past 20 minutes, but Erica guessed she was getting tired of it. "I walked in on Callie kissing Arizona Robbins." Dr. Wyatt was about to say something when she was stopped by the raising of the surgeon's hand. "If you ask me how that makes me feel, I swear I will surgically remove your tongue!" The older woman shook her head, continuing when Erica finally gave a small nod for her to go on. "I was going to ask why it bothers you. Every session we have had consists of you ranting your feelings about things that have happened in your everyday life, but what about your feelings towards Callie? What do you feel when you're around her? What did you feel when she speaks to you?" The psychiatrist couldn't help the smirk that crossed her face when she was given a menacing look by the blonde. "I….still have feelings for her. I never stopped feeling something for her. The moment I left Seattle, I wanted to come back and be with her, hold her…..but now she's with Ms. Sunshine and I can't let those feelings go anywhere! I came here to start over. No more relationships, no more friendships, just work." Dr. Wyatt shook her head in dismay, earning another glare from Erica. "Look, you can't just cut your feelings off. You are human, Erica, you have feelings and you can't hide from them." Erica looked away, tears threatening to fall. "I still have dreams, okay! I…I shouldn't have them anymore but I do, and I like them, I _use_ them to….fulfill needs." It took the older woman a minute before she realized what the blonde meant. "You mean you have sex fantasies? About Callie, I presume. There's nothing wrong with that. You're a woman and you have needs, you crave sexual attention and since you have feelings for Callie, she is your main character in those sex fantasies. The one thing you have to realize is that, although you may think it'll work out now, hiding your feelings and fulfilling your needs with sex fantasies isn't healthy. You're a woman who wants and _needs_ a relationship. It's obvious you are hoping for only one person to share that relationship with, but reserving yourself for something that might not happen isn't healthy or safe." Before Erica could reply, the room was filled with the shrill sound of her pager. "I have to go….I'll take what you said into consideration. Just know I won't be ready to do this right away… you'll need to give me time." When the psychiatrist had nodded, Erica took it as a sign she could go.

A chart was thrust into her chest as Erica made her way to her destination. "56 year-old male, he's had three heart attacks and now his heart is failing altogether, he's just received a heart and we need you to perform the transplant." She nodded to the nurse and made her way into the room. "So, Mr…Johnson, how are we feeling today?" She looked up to see a pale man sleeping, oxygen mask covering his thin lips and nose. "Hmh, never mind." She left the room and headed to the nurses' station to start filling in the chart. When she heard another chart hit the counter, she looked up, mentally kicking herself when she saw who it was. Deciding now would be an excellent time to book an OR, Erica made her way around the station, her breath hitching when she made contact with the other figure. "Um, book an OR for 1 o'clock Olivia." When the nurse had confirmed that OR 3 would be ready at 1, Erica went to the surgical board to write in her surgery. She looked back and the first thing she noticed was a perfect ass, sticking out a little farther due to the body leaning against the counter. _'Huh, how could I forget that ass. The perfect ass of Calliope Iphegenia Torres.. yeah, totally unforgettable.' _Erica caught herself staring and sighed. This was definitely going to be a problem. The fact that she was mad at the Latina and still thought about getting in her pants was a little surprising to her, but, like Dr. Wyatt said, she was a woman and craved sexual attention. The only problem was, she wanted it with a certain gorgeous, tan and tall woman with whom she caught kissing a different blonde in a dirty bar bathroom. _'Time for an on-call room session for one'_ Erica had discovered online that a really good way to relax after or before a stressful event was to feel pleasure, feel the adrenaline and endorphins rushing inside you. Basically, a great stress-reliever was to have an orgasm. At first, the blonde had found that repulsive, but after a super horrible day at work she had given it a try and found that the studies were correct—hell, they were _really_ accurate. Once she had found an empty on-call room, she sat on the single bed and closed her eyes, trying to find something to arouse her. Her thoughts immediately went to before Callie and her had gotten together, when Erica was feeling an attraction but was too scared to admit it. She thought about the time they had gone to sunrise yoga, when Callie and her had been covered in sweat and were getting ready to shower.

_Erica and Callie entered the locker room, breathing heavily and glistening with sweat. When they reached their lockers, Callie had turned to Erica and bit her lip nervously. "Um, it's just one large showering area, I hope you don't mind." The blonde had breathed deeply, trying to stay calm for her and the Latina's sake. "Oh, um, no it's fine. We're both women, right?" Callie had laughed nervously before meeting Erica's eyes. Before Erica knew it, the younger woman was stripping, never breaking eye contact. Eventually, the blonde couldn't resist and took in the other woman's form. Her curves were perfect, her skin was smooth and glistening from the work-out they had just finished. Her breasts were full and beautiful, rising and falling with each steady breath. Her stomach was toned and smoothed, perfectly tanned all around. Her legs were long and muscular, no doubt from sports in previous years. Erica dared not look at what was between the Latina's legs, knowing it would ruin her if she did. As if on command, she, too, began stripping of her sweat-sodden clothes. Erica tried to hold back a smirk when chocolate eyes began to roam her body. Before either could say anything, the blonde wrapped a towel around herself, finally deciding enough had been enough. Callie followed suit and began to head to the showers, "You coming, Dr. Hahn?" Erica smirked, holding back the urge to shout 'pretty much.' And followed._

Erica came back to reality and found herself close to the much-needed orgasm. She continued her work, picturing all the special times she had shared with the Latina, until she finally released. Her head flew back and hips arched off the bed as she got the most out of the release. When her hips fell to the bed again, she removed her hand and made her way to the door, only to find a figure standing, shell-shocked, in front of it. _'Damn, the world hates me!'_

**Callie's POV**

Callie had stood at the nurses' station, hoping to get the blonde to talk to her, but had only resulted in filling out her chart. When she was alone, she decided to finally give up and head to the on-call room for some much-needed rest. When she had opened the door, Callie had found Erica on the single bed, eyes closed, hands in pants, and couldn't resist watching. When she watched the blonde's release, she felt a tingle surge through her body—only to be replaced with panic when she found herself face-to-face with her. "I, um, I suppose now wouldn't be the best time to try and talk about last night? The…..bathroom and stuff?" She looked hopefully into Erica's blue-grey eyes, but found nothing but embarrassment in them. "No, now's not a good time." With that, the blonde was gone, leaving Callie alone to take in everything that had just happened.

Callie was sitting in the ER, playing around with a stapler, when she heard something wheel down the hall and stop in front of the desk. "Calliope, how are you today?" She looked up to meet bright, cheerful blue eyes. "Fine, I suppose. Just a little confused." Arizona cocked her head to one side. "Confused about what, exactly? Is it something I can help you with?" Callie choked on her yawn, that last sentence had collided with other feelings she was having and caused an awkward moment. "Um, as much as I would need that kind of help, no…I don't think you could fix something as broken and mangled as this." The Peds. Surgeon gave her a pitying look and continued. "Well, when you need a…helping hand, just let me know." She gave the dumbstruck Latina a wink and rolled away. Callie watched as the woman rolled away, not exactly knowing what to do. She knew she shouldn't let the blonde continue the flirting, she felt bad when hope showed in Arizona's eyes. She loved Erica, she would never stop loving her. Arizona didn't know that, though, she only saw a struggling Orthopedic surgeon who needed love—Callie did need love, but again, she only wanted one person to give her that love. She looked at her watch and saw that she was finally off, going to return to the locker room. On her way to her destination, she noticed a blonde figure walking towards her, when she met the blonde's blue-grey eyes, the figure turned away. _'Damn, she's avoiding me.. Well no shit, you walked in on her pleasing herself!'_ Callie sighed and walked down to the locker room. When she entered she saw her man-whore of a friend, Mark, fiddling around with his phone. "Mark, time to be my friend again." The older man looked up and smirked. "On-call room?" She rolled her eyes and straddled the bench, facing him. "I sort of walked in on Erica….you know." She waited until Mark understood what she meant, knowing he had when his smirk grew into a wide smile. "Damn, that's hot! Did you join her?" Callie gave him a look that said 'What do you think?' before continuing. "Now she's totally avoiding me and I can't explain the kiss she walked in on in the bar last night." Before Mark could answer, his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and immediately ran out, a wide grin crossing his face. "And there goes my only friend." Callie sighed and changed, when she had finished she headed for the elevators, hoping to finally get some rest. When the doors opened, her breath hitched. The other occupant of the elevator was no other than Erica Hahn, the woman who wanted nothing to do with her. Part of the elevator ride was quiet, until Callie found the urge to speak. "Erica-" Before she could finish, she felt lips crushing against hers. At first the kiss was hurried, but soon it became heated and soft. Callie moaned as soft hands roamed her body, a knee lodging between her legs. ***Ding*** The elevator door opened, and Callie opened her eyes to find herself alone. _'Holy shit.'_

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><p><strong>Reviews are pretty amazing ya know :3 tell me any other things you would like to see, and if you want anything to turn a different direction than I am driving it down. LOVE YA ALL!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the amazing reviews once again :) You guys are soooo awesome! I hope this chapter finally lets you know where I am going with this ;) I think it fulfills some of your requests. Don't forget to lemme know about any requests you have! I live to serve *bow* ENJOY, BITCHES!**

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

Erica pushed her way through the nurses and doctors, found an on-call room and slammed the door closed. She placed her forehead against the door and closed her eyes, replaying the scene that had happened in the elevator only minutes before. The blonde couldn't help but shudder at the thought of Callie's reaction to her suddenly retreating. Erica had wanted to continue more than anything, but she was still upset with the Latina for kissing Ms. Sunshine in the dirty bar bathroom. She heard a noise behind her and whirled around to find Arizona standing there, concern in her eyes, watching Erica intensely. "Oh how nice, Lady Kisses is here. How many other women have you been kissing, or do you just like to go after the broken ones?" Erica regretted saying that the moment it came out of her mouth, but she was just so angry that she couldn't stop herself. The smaller blonde set her jaw, swiftly stepping up to meet Erica's cold gaze. "You need to back off! I kissed Calliope, yes, but it was to reassure her that she's not useless or…..unwanted. I find her attractive—_very_ attractive. Hell, I'd definitely g-" Erica put her hand up. "I get it!" Arizona blushed a little before continuing. "Um, anyway, I find her attractive and I'd love to go on a date with her, but she's not eligible on the bachelorette list." When the cardio surgeon gave her a confused look, she explained further. "What I mean is… she's not over you, Erica. She wants you—well, really, she _needs_ you, and you're just pushing her away. I don't know why you left the first time, I don't know why you came back, and I don't know why you're avoiding Calliope, but I do know that she needs you and you need her. I've heard some things about you, but I know they're not true. You _do_ have a heart and you _do _have feelings, so go express those feelings to Calliope!" For a moment, Erica stayed silent, but eventually she found the voice to reply. "I, um, I…..thank you." Arizona smiled and pulled her into a big hug, which the older woman awkwardly tried to return. "Ahm, I need to change and go home now…..I'm tired, and if I wanna explain everything to Callie, I'll be needing a nice amount of sleep." Bright blue eyes met blue-grey ones, a new bond forming between the gazes. "Do people really say I'm heartless with no feelings?" The smaller blonde giggled, grabbing Erica's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Just some strung-out Asian resident obsessed with Cardio." Erica rolled her eyes and headed for the door, just before she left she turned back to Arizona. "You know, I heard a lot of the nurses on the 4th floor are on our team and looking for serious relationships. Most of them are pretty attractive." She gave the smiling Peds. Surgeon a wink before leaving. After she had changed and began her descent to the elevators, she noticed Yang and the depressed Grey whispering in a corner. She decided to have fun before heading out for the night. "Yang, I was told a strung-out resident obsessed with Cardio decided it would be wise to call me heartless with no feelings….. know anything about that?" The resident whipped around, eyes wide with fear and confusion. "Uh, no ma'am, I don't. I'm sorry someone did that, ma'am." Erica scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Right, well, Grey, you're on my service the rest of the week." She smirked to herself as she heard the two residents bickering about changing attendings. "What a bunch of losers."

When Erica arrived at work the next morning, butterflies were threatening to rip out of her gut at any moment. She was extremely nervous about confronting Callie, hoping the Latina would listen and forgive her. She had tried and failed miserably three times already to corner the woman and explain. The first time she had tried, Erica had sneakily scooted closer and closer to Callie at a nurses' station, but by the time she had arrived at the Latina's side, she was leaving. The second attempt was just plain sad. Erica had been in surgery with her for 3 hours, and every time she looked up, ready to speak, Callie would clear her throat and continue her work. She knew what her ex-lover had been doing, but with all the gossipy nurses around, she couldn't risk telling her off. Her third attempt was almost a success. She had been in the attendings' lounge doing some refresher research when Callie had walked in, staring unblinking into her phone's screen. Erica had been talking for about five minutes until she noticed the ear buds of the other woman's ipod drowning out her words. She shook her head in dismay as she looked back on the attempts. What she really needed to do was lure the woman somewhere private to Erica had a slight chance of explaining. Erica had gotten a new phone and number since the year away from Seattle, and decided to give Callie a mystery text telling her to meet her in a certain supply closet. When she had done so, she made her way to the designated room and waited. It had been almost ten minutes when the door began to slowly open. Erica made her way swiftly to the door, only to find herself on the ground, head throbbing. A sudden pain began to engulf her face, blinding her momentarily. "Oh my god, Erica! Shit, I thought you were some rapist or something—are you okay?" The blonde sat up, grabbing her nose. She groaned as she felt hot liquid seep into the hand. "Geez Cal, remind me never to mess with you. Can you hand me a gauze pad—and while you're at it, come check my nose…. It might be broken." Erica heard shifting of plastic bags and metal until a tan hand held a large gauze pad to her nose. She sighed as the pain began to cease, the pressure the Latina was emitting making the blood finally stop as well. "Uh, it's not broken, but it'll begin to swell soon. You won't look your best, but you can still perform surgeries and whatnot. I'm really sorry, Erica, I got some creepy text demanding me to meet someone in this supply room and when you approached me so abruptly I couldn't help but panic. Do you want some ice or—oh!" Erica caressed Callie's face, ceasing the rambling coming from her sweet lips. "I forgive you, Cal. Can you forgive _me_?" The Latina's features softened, and she leaned into the blonde's hand. "Of course I can, I could never…. Erica, I still love you. I need you to understand that the kiss you saw….. I wasn't expecting it." Erica smiled warmly, stroking Callie's cheek with the pad of her thumb. "I know…don't worry, I won't leave you this time. I….Callie, I love you too. I never stopped, and I never will." Before the blonde knew it, full, red lips were against her thin, pink ones. At first the kiss was forced and stiff, but soon both women relaxed and eased into it. Callie's tongue swiped against Erica's bottom lip, asking for entry, to which Erica gladly allowed. The kiss wasn't heated or rushed, it was slow and sweet. Their tongues danced lightly with each other, neither trying to overpower the other. A moan escaped one of them, but they were too deep in the kiss to know who it had come from. When Erica's lungs began to scream for air, she reluctantly pulled away and placed her forehead against Callie's. "That was much better than the little stunt you pulled last night, Dr. Hahn." She chuckled and kissed the Latina's nose. "I agree, Dr. Torres, but I think I have an even better stunt I'd love to pull tonight. It involves these beauties right here." Erica held up her hands and wiggled her long, slender fingers playfully. She smirked as her lover's eyes widened, her breath hitching. "I, um, I…..yessss." The blonde lunged in and latched on to Callie's pulse point, sucking and biting, then soothing the spot with a swipe of her tongue. She eventually pulled back and admired her work. "There, now those 4th floor nurses will know you're off the market." Chocolate eyes met blue-grey, for the first time in a long while, both showing love and lust. "I love you, Calliope Torres." "I love you too, Erica Hahn."

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><p><strong>Soooo? Was it otay? Lemme know what ya think here! love you aaaaalllll! <strong>

**Dude, Lioness, send me a PM back for cripe's sake! :3**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okaaaay, so this is the end guys! Thanks so much for all the reviews and I hope to see them in future stories to come :) **

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

Erica was slammed against the elevator wall, tan hands roaming her freely. She couldn't help but moan as a hand found its way up her blouse to cup a concealed breast. The blonde's tongue had been fighting for dominance the entire time, but once she felt a warm knee pry its way between her legs, she let herself be taken. When the doors finally opened to the designated floor, Erica was pulled into a cool, dimly lit hallway. By the time they had reached the right door, neither woman could take the limited actions any longer. Callie had pressed the blonde against the door while frantically kissing her and searching for her key. After the struggle of finding the key, she was challenged with the task of getting the key into the keyhole and getting her lover to her bedroom. Erica tried to suppress a laugh as the Latina groaned in frustration, unable to fulfill her task of opening the door. "Just stop and open it, Cal." Blue-grey eyes met frustrated chocolate ones. "I can't, I have to be touching you, Erica. I can't break the connection or I'll go insane." Before Erica could reply, she heard a click and smiled, a look of relief and pure lust washing over her. Callie was now pushing the older woman into the apartment, determined not to let go until they were safely in her bedroom. "Dr. Hahn? Callie? It's 1 in the morning! I need sleep, damn it!" Both women stopped and looked around to see a sleepy Cristina glaring at them through hooded eyes. "Then go to Owen or Meredith's place! I need to get down on Dr. Hahn." Both Cardio nuts looked surprised at the woman's words, but neither protested and the lovers proceeded to their destination. When they were finally there, they broke apart. Taking a moment to not only catch their breaths, but also to take in the moment that was about to occur. Erica's eyes were now darkened with lust, and Callie's shined with pure pleasure. Before either had a chance to speak, the Latina was propelling Erica towards the bed, her lips latched on to her neck. "Mmm, you, Ms. Hahn, smell intoxicating. I don't think I will ever get used to your wonderful scent." The blonde only smiled, unable to speak as the woman bit lightly on her clavicle before soothing the mark with her tongue. "And you, Ms. Torres, have far too many clothes on. Allow me to fix that." Erica took her time in removing Callie's shirt, making sure to touch her lightly every few inches, and smirked as she groaned in frustration. "Ericaaaaa, don't!" This only egged the blonde on further, using her nails to make slow, light trails up and down her back, making sure to avoid the lacy red bra that still clung to the Latina. Finally Erica made one last painfully slow trail up Callie's back before unclasping the garment and removing it to reveal full, tanned breasts. Tan hands quickly made their way to the woman's jeans, trying to dispose of the rest herself. When soft, creamy-white hands slapped them away, they quickly switched to the bottom of Erica's shirt. Before the blonde knew what was going on, her arms were being thrust into the air and her blouse had vanished, leaving a black bra to keep her incredibly turned on lover from what she wanted. Erica decided to dispose of the bra herself, removing it slowly and carefully. When she was finally bare, she watched chocolate eyes roam her chest. "I believe we still have more to discover, Dr. Torres." Her hands moved to the buttons on Callie's jeans, almost ripping it off in sheer desire. She made quick work of the zipper and slowly slid the jeans down around tanned ankles. As soon as she had stepped out of them, Callie was pouncing on Erica's slacks, working much quicker than the blonde. She had all but yanked down the slacks and almost pushed her lover out of them. "Lay down, Erica. Let me show you how much I've missed you." Erica felt her eyes widen, and knew that they had darkened even more. It was things like this that really made the surgeon feel loved. When her lover would talk to her, demand something and make it sound still full of care and love. The blonde sat on the bed and inched her way backwards on it to lay down fully. An instant later Callie was on top of her, straddling her hips and kissing her passionately. Erica's hands entwined into the soft, raven locks and closed her eyes, sighing deeply. She let out a little gasp when she felt a warm hand on her breast, massaging it carefully and swiping a thumb over her already hardened peak. As one was given that treatment, the other received loving strokes of the tongue, the tip swirling around her erect bud. After several minutes of this long, quiet procedure, the hand and tongue alternated, giving the opposite breast the pleasure the other had just received. Soon, Erica couldn't take it, she tried pushing Callie farther down, directing her to where she needed her most, but the Latina didn't budge. The most she did was begin a slow, painful trail of open-mouth kisses, when she reached her navel, she swirled her tongue around it and dipped it in. After an approving gasp from the blonde, she repeated the procedure a few more times before continuing lower. When she reached the beginning of her sex, Callie stopped. Erica whipped her head up to stare at the woman. "Cal, what the h—oh!" Before Erica had had a chance to finish, a warm tongue began to stroke her slit, up and down, just barely a touch, but enough to be torturous. When the blonde's hands tightened in Callie's hair, she decided to go for it. Callie made one more stroke before dipping her tongue into Erica's entrance, not entering fully just yet. After a hoarse moan escaped Erica's lips, another was building as the tongue became harder and rough. "Cal… please, don't—oh god, don't stop!" That's all the Latina had needed to hear. She made one long, hard stroke before sucking the blonde's clit into her mouth, lashing her tongue against it every few seconds. Erica felt herself begin to climax, and as she did, she also felt two fingers enter her. This time a soft cry escaped her lips, her head lolling back and hands tightening even more in her lover's raven locks. Her walls tightened around the pumping fingers, she was almost there. Another finger entered her and that's all it took. Her hips arched off the bed and she cried out Callie's name several times as she rode out her orgasm. When she finally relaxed again, Callie licked her clean and slid up her body to meet her for a heated kiss. Erica moaned as she tasted herself on her lips. Desperate for more, she took the Latina's glistening fingers and sucked them into her mouth, eyes rolling back in pleasure. When she had licked them clean, she met wide chocolate eyes, swimming with desire. Erica went to speak but was interrupted by a shrill beeping that turned out to be her pager. This time she went to apologize when another pager went off, this time clearly Callie's. The rolled away from each other and checked the message, seeing it was a 911 trauma. As they got dressed, Erica promised Callie she would return the favor when they finished up. The Latina just smiled and pulled her pants on.

Erica and Callie walked up to the entrance of Seattle Grace the next day, ready to face everyone at work. They searched each other's eyes for a while before lacing their hands together and heading inside. They were officially a couple, and not even the hospital would keep them apart this time.

**THE END!**

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><p><strong>So I'm not all that happy with the ending, but I was kinda in a rush since I'll be gone for two weeks starting tomorrow... When I get back I'll be talking with Lioness222 on a team story! I also have future ones in mind by just moi! Hopefully the ending wasn't too too awful. love ya all!<strong>

**~Rainbow4imagination~**


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